tales of the forest

LOL

2009-11-01T20:38:28Z

Hipster takeover. from Jessica Lehrman on Vimeo.

virginia_wolf @ 2009-04-18T16:46:00

2009-04-18T23:47:09Z

funny how sometimes old wounds still hurt and all it takes is your uncle to send you a picture of her to set you off

and I am off.

I'm not one to write catchy subjects, sorry, truly.

2009-02-06T21:29:26Z

I'm back in school now. It's kind of odd, not just working. I just finished sculpting the nose of a classmate and have started to work on said classmate's ear, still the most intriguing part of sculpting class is tea time. For our break we have tea and cookies and we sit out on the picnic tables and I think it's marvelous. It is nice to enjoy sculpting company.

I met someone else who has teeth dreams. She also likes Bukowski. You could say we get along very well.

On other notes, I kind of miss my friends. I hardly be seein mah niggas. :(

Oh and I'm almost 18....isn't that wierd.

virginia_wolf @ 2008-04-05T11:36:00

2008-04-05T18:41:42Z

today should be a good day.

virginia_wolf @ 2008-02-02T20:40:00

2008-02-03T04:41:24Z

I'm good

I feel as if you could pour me down the drain.

2008-01-31T07:26:12Z

I want to go somewhere no one knows me. Somewhere I know no one. Some where I have no past. Somewhere I have no future.

I am a waste of time, of space, of money, of feelings, of talent.

I should be going to virginia in a month or two depending on the money i save. I keep thinking about not coming back. What would it matter.

stressed and frustrated and missing portland

2008-01-19T04:21:38Z

ughh work keeps scheduling me to work on sundays and i told them when they hired me that that is the ONLY day I cannot work.

I just got back from portland and now i'm back in reality...sucks.

Blah Blah Bah Blah Blah

2007-11-28T03:59:09Z

Some perceive me as a statue and maybe I am, just a tangible lifeless figure often used in decoration. Though, I should not be on that pedestal and I'm sure eventually they will come to find that their reluctance was warranted and I'm just another pretty waste of time.

virginia_wolf @ 2007-11-10T12:57:00

2007-11-10T20:59:58Z

Animals licking light sockets. How would you feel?

Woman tells her truth. Her truth only becomes a lie. Her lie becomes a tragedy and her tragedy affects us all.

Metaphors for Life: Once You Leave You May Not Return.

2007-10-22T23:10:41Z

I'm sitting and waiting for the belly of the beast to become full and then spit out what he has chewed. There are claws in my throat and the fires have reached my nasal passages. I'm almost jealous, though I know that my jealousy is unwanted and unwarranted. I keep rewinding the images in my head from the nights passed of glowing faces and verbal vomit. I keep thinking about my mental vomit and the words that I will never have to clean up because they will never receive the chance to be uttered. There is no time for opinions and to tell you the truth I could care less what you and you and you think. Substance is abiotic fuel for creativity and alaska is a limiting factor. Right now it is all about opposites. On normal days it is all about this one red tree in a sea of green. Today it is all about one green tree in a sea of red.

virginia_wolf @ 2007-09-02T22:21:00

2007-09-03T05:23:41Z

having mono is terrible. I feel like crap.

I think I've decided

2007-07-27T00:43:53Z

If I'm going to be kind of fat, why not just let myself go completely?! Someone's gotta love a fat girl.

LATER

2007-07-09T06:17:47Z

I'm quite off lately, though there could be various reasons as to why. I've been trying to throw myself back into life, full force. Now, I've begun to second guess myself. Do I really want what I have been yearing for? I'm not sure, but either way it's the right decision. I'm just scared. I'm really afraid of actually giving a shit. All of this makes me sound like such a little bitch. I guess I just need to complain a little bit. I'm really not concerned with what anyone thinks anymore, only myself. I actually think that that might be worse, however. I mean, we are our own harshest critics.

I guess I'll just have to bust.

virginia_wolf @ 2007-05-31T23:09:00

2007-06-01T06:17:10Z

I'm 16 in one hour....i guess. haha

ATTENTION!!! Cayla and Michelle:
How and when are we buying Faint tickets?

virginia_wolf @ 2007-05-18T12:48:00

2007-05-18T19:58:18Z

I'm finished painting the guitar. It's alot like yours and mine and everyone else's in between. I do believe that the menstration of women was invented to make us want to commit suicide AND that is why I have horrific cycles. I had about 3 bad dreams last night, that is why Ia m wakuing up so late, I guess.
Dream#1- I remember driving my mother's jeep, though I was still myself, still 15 years old(for another 2 weeks atleast), and still without a license. I was driving quite well and all and then some people decided to be idiots and I crashed. The driver of the other car was a big fat man who insisted that all of it was my fault. I remember thinking in the dream if I could get away with this accident if I had given him oral. hahaha
Dream#2- I remember that Cory and Brian were killed. And I was completely miserable. I was to speak at an event about their lives and all I wanted to say was how rediculous the thought of their deaths coming about so suddenly was.
Dream#3- I was in a wedding... I don't quite remember why, but I was and then I was with these three men, two worked for the third. Thr third was my date or husband or something. Then the two kidnapped me and planned to rape my sweet virgin ass.

Anyway guys. You know how I do.
Lovin' Life.

virginia_wolf @ 2007-05-03T10:48:00

2007-05-03T17:50:03Z

happy, unhealthy, in love

virginia_wolf @ 2007-04-19T11:31:00

2007-04-19T18:36:16Z

I love Cory. I wake up in the morning and I think about the way his broad shoulders are perfection. I love the way he talks to me, the way he looks at me, the way we fight, and I love being his perfection, just as he is mine. I love that instead of getting bored with him I become more interested with every minute we know eachother. I just am so happily in love.

virginia_wolf @ 2007-04-06T12:27:00

2007-04-06T19:43:53Z

If only my body could burst; forlorn from this brute and repelling wait in which time is just a mere child in the sea of passings, I have yet to embark. For I was never a stranger, overcome by coincidence. I was a newborn; fighting for an earthly cause, like the calling of the trees and the abuse of the clouds. The two shoes below the mirror were my teleporting sons and the evil breeze that had washed its grace of me seemed to unveil an ever luminous smile, portrayed in the form of a prepubescent child. Though, when I screamed for assistance the operator just put on a different accent and asked me to look out my window. She said that the crow's feet in the mud were a sign from God and that the rustling of the trees was the music I would never create. She said that my lack of passion and compassion would catch up to me on the days that I fell behind. She said that if I screamed the only people who would hear were the def. She said that if I took a closer look that maybe, just maybe I might possibly remember the colors of the flowers which grew from the cracks in the sidewalk and the faint lines which made up the sweet brutality of your face.

virginia_wolf @ 2007-02-07T20:46:00

2007-02-08T04:51:07Z

My absolute detachment for external surroundings leaves me heavy, though infallible. I feel particularly incapable of articulating my difference to the like, thus I seem to find comfort in aberration.

Lately, I have come to find comfort in myself, may it be sullen.

virginia_wolf @ 2006-12-12T18:32:00

2006-12-13T01:32:26Z

so as usual, today I hung out with myself.

and I finally downloaded fiona apple's extraordinary machine and it's just peachy. I love it.

virginia_wolf @ 2006-12-10T17:34:00

2006-12-11T00:34:01Z

"Cover your eyes", I used to tell her, I never wanted such a lovely child to be introduced to negative in any form. She always did what I asked and never seemed to complain. or even inquire. I remember looking at her face for what seemed to be a lifetime; watching her age before my eyes. I saw her marry. I saw her grow old. I saw her weep. I saw her pass. And in these moments, these seconds, this lifetime, I would come to find that despite my efforts to preserve her innocence, she would come to hurt, as we all do and despite what I may have wanted for her young soul, she would come to weave her own web. I no longer look so deeply into her screaming eyes. Instead, I simply enjoy just letting her lead.

virginia_wolf @ 2006-11-16T15:45:00

2006-11-16T22:45:30Z

I'll cook my dinner, but I will not eat.

virginia_wolf @ 2006-11-16T00:28:00

2006-11-16T07:28:44Z

I find it odd that even though everything is so fucked up and I am so depressed, I am almost happy. Happier than I have been in a while atleast. I have a sweet boyfriend who treats me well and doesn't over croud me, I have a brother and a father to complete my family, and I have a pair of really cute shoes. I just kind of wish everything didn't make me cry. I wish I had a normal family life, where I could be the child and not the parent, where I had two parents and a brother that hated me. I wish I lived in a house with a white picket fence and a backyard. I wish I wasn't so busy that I could go to school and have a hobby. I wish I wasn't so busy that I spent everyday learning how to grieve instead of breaking down and falling apart every 13th. I wish I had someone to tell me what to do. I wish I didn't want to graduate early just so I can get away from my parental responsibilities. I wish people would understand that I will not be in their lives forever. I wish people would understand that I come and go like the moon. I wish too many things, I really do need a hobby, but I just don't know where having a hobby AND learning how to grieve properly can fit into my bulky schedule.

So long ago we were dancing and singing

2006-11-03T00:04:08Z

and so long ago, it all meant much more than this.

I am awkard even when I am inebriated. I used to stare across rooms at you and wish that you were the arms that consumed me each day. There is this space between reaction and choice. I usually fall into my reactions, but isn't that what makes me? My actions and reactions? Someday, I will become nothing but an act, who is to say I have not already?

starting over.

2006-10-05T23:53:13Z

a new beginning for the old souls.